Bloodline

------Josh's Review------

You know those guys on nasty websites that can slowly wrap their penis around a cylinder, and over time stretch it and stretch it until it is like 4 feet long? Rule of thumb for Bloodline: If you are ever at movie night and John Deedle brings this movie, you MUST give him this treatment or you get it for the next two hours.

Bloodline is about this guy with a messed up face who never talks and nonchalantly stabs people for no reason... and um... he doesn't actually kill people ..and um.. This movie made no sense.

Highlights: The best part of this movie was that I finally can remove Troll 2 from top of my worst movie ever seen list. Other than that there were no good parts.

Downfalls: The worst thing about this movie is that it was a rental, and I couldn't immediately burn it.

Just writing this review was like getting a few cockpunches. There is no finite number of cockpunches for this movie.

Infinity cockpunches out of 5

-----Jeremiah's Review-----

Let me start off my review by telling a story. There once was a kid who was driving down a dirt road on his bicycle when he stumbled upon a bottle. He picked it up and dusted it off and lo and behold it was a zima. It was blistering hot and had clearly been sitting there for several days but the boy had never had any alcoholic drinks before and he thought it would make him a man if he opened it and drank it, so the boy opened the steaming zima and chugged it down in a matter of seconds barely even tasting it. Later on in the day he told his brother of his coming of age tale and discovered that his brother had cummed in an old zima bottle a few days earlier and had hidden it out on that old dirt road hoping some unsuspecting little nerd like the kid would find it and drink it.
Now I tell this story to tell another story. After you watch bloodline you will wish that you could turn back time and just pray to be this little boy every single day of your life instead. I am certain that this is the movie that you must watch over and over in Hell. It has no plot, never once makes any sense at all, and the acting is atrocious. If you ever have the choice of watching this movie or having a meteor fall from the heavens and land directly on your cock crushing and burning it beyond belief then go outside and start looking at the sky waiting on your comet to pass by.

I give it 1,000,000 cock punches out of 5